The 5 Stages of Grieving the End of a Relationship

1. Denial
In this phase our heart rather than our head rules our belief system as we try to adjust to the idea of life without the person we’re losing. Even though we know the relationship is over, we really don’t believe it.  Against the better judgment of everyone around us, we can’t help but entertain fantasies of things somehow working out. We see hidden glimmers of hope buried in clear indications that it’s over.  Yes, this is the phase where we are most susceptible to late night texting.
2. Anger
Anger can manifest in many different ways – anger at your ex (“How could he do this to me? Why can’t she stop being selfish?”), anger at God or the universe (“Why can’t anything ever work out for me? Why am I cursed?”), anger at people or situations associated with the break-up (anger at the other woman; anger that your partner lost her job, because that is when she “changed”), and anger at other people who don’t agree or stand with your anger (“Can you believe George and Jane still want to be friends with him after what he did to me?”). This is the phase where we think it’s a great idea to tell anyone and everyone what a psycho-crazy vixen our ex was. This is also when we think it’s crucial to send our ex hateful emails because we don’t want him thinking he got away with anything.
3. Bargaining
Bargaining often goes hand in hand with denial. Bargaining can be looking for any possible way to make the relationship work through negotiation, threats, and/or magic – for example, telling your ex that you will change, or move or go to therapy, or telling him he is hurting the children, his family, your family, and the dog by leaving. And, of course, this phase is not only limited to bargaining with your ex.  Many people bargain with The Powers That Be, promising to be a better person if only the ex will come back.  During this stage, you may take a new interest in astrology, tarot cards or any type of voodoo that will forecast a reunion.  This is also when we attempt to enlist all friends and family to “talk some sense” into him.
4. Depression
Depression, like anger, also surfaces in many different forms, for example feeling tired all the time, not wanting to do anything but lay in bed, feeling disconnected from people even when you’re with them, being on the verge of tears most of the time, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, loss of appetite or overeating, increase in drug or alcohol use and (the big one) hopelessness.  Hopelessness is the most pervasive and debilitating, It is the thing that leads us to believe that nothing will ever be or feel different than it is right now. Hopelessness makes it feel like you will never move on and that nothing will ever work out for you in the future.
5. Acceptance
Finally, this is the phase in which we are able to make peace with the loss. It doesn’t always come on suddenly; it often happens gradually, little bit by little bit,  interspersed with some of the other phases. Acceptance doesn’t always involve harmony and flowers – there is almost certain to be lingering sadness.  Acceptance entails making peace with the loss, letting go of the relationship and slowly moving forward with your life. Sometimes it feels like this phase will never come, which usually means you’re still struggling in an earlier phase.

Knowing your phases of grief can help normalize your break-up experience. It’s also important to know that there are no time limits and no rushing the process. Grieving is like digestion: there is nothing you can do to hurry it along. It takes time and the only thing you can do is try to get through it. But take heart in the fact that this, like everything else, will eventually pass.

Source:-http://www.psychologytoday.com

10 Things men should never ask women

An author has come up with a list of 10 top dating tips to guide men on what they should never say to women.

David DeAngelo, author of "Double Your Dating", says there is nothing worse than making mistakes that will later be regretted and one way to avoid them is to remember the following, Bullz-Eye.com reported.

First of all , a man should never ask a woman if he can kiss her, as she will only say, a man should never "ask" for a kiss.

Asking her for a kiss will only make a man look like a boy, which is what a woman is not interested in, and even if she says "yes", it could mean she is just being polite, while on the inside her attraction meter will read a firm, "No".

Secondly , a man should never ask a woman if he can take her out on a date sometime, as she would like to be with a man who is a leader and in control, not someone who asks her permission to hit on her.

A man should confidently ask a woman out, by simply saying, "We should hang out... what's your number?" or tell her about a specific place he wants to take her to.

Thirdly , a man should never brag about the car he has or the kind of house he lives in, as it would seem like he is trying hard to impress her.

Women would be far more impressed by a man's material possessions if he does not mention them in conversation.

The fourth thing a man should never ask a woman is what she wants to do for the night, as she likes a "man with a plan".

The man needs to have a game plan before he calls her, so as to ensure that she will not be burdened with having to think about what to do.

Fifthly, a man should never ask a woman if she likes him, as this is one phrase that turns off a woman completely.

He should just assume that she likes him, and never ask the question, as it would look like he has no confidence.

The sixth tip is that a man should never ask a woman why she never answered his message, as one, it would show that he cared she did not reply back, and two, it would give her a guilt trip, which is seen as insecurity by women.

The seventh tip is that a man should never ask a woman how men she has slept with, as this shows that he is suffering from insecurity.

The eighth tip is that a man should never hint at a future date with a woman he has just met, as she not only wants but needs a guy who is somewhat of a "challenge", and will lose interest if she senses she has won.

The ninth tip is that a man should never end a phone conversation with a woman with a "next step", as firstly it would kill any spontaneity by being predictable, and secondly he would kill any chances of her calling him.

The tenth tip is that a man should never talk bad about a woman's guy friends especially if he hasn't met them and doesn't know her very well, as this is the fastest way for her to mark him as "insecure".


Source:- http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com